Shaggy Gave Us This Life Changing Dating Advice at Glastonbury

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by: Josh Newis-Smith
26 Jun 2017

Caught your boyfriend butt naked on the bathroom floor? Don’t worry Shaggy is here with all the dating advice you will EVER need.

I spent most of my school trip to France, aged 11, ‘singing’ Shaggy’s Angel at the top of my lungs with my classmates- my voice was far from angelic, needless to say. Now aged the grand total of 28 years I skip backstage on my first Glastonbury Festival to meet the performer himself in his spacious tour bus that has more bombastic mod cons than you can shake a Shaggy at. “I am not a camper, I am too bouji for that, I don’t pitch no tent,” the 48 year old singer told me in his thick Jamaican accent.

To me Shaggy ‘the man’ was a myth but meeting the rather unassuming figure in IRL wearing a Nike black hooded jacket and wellingtons, wasn’t disappointing in the slightest. Complete with all his Mr. Lover Lover charm, he was everything I wanted him to be and more. When questioned on who he would most like to collaborate with he said, “you! As long as you can hold a note or you can just carry the bags.” Shaggy’s bag handler? I will take that! #cvGOALS!

He’s cool as a well refrigerated cucumber too with no pre-show rituals at all, “I have been doing this so long but when I was younger right before I go to the stage I would feel like I need to go for the bathroom, I would just feel like I want to take a sh*t. Now I don’t do nothing!” But what does one ask a pre adolescent idol that made his name for being caught on the bathroom floor? Serious intense life advice, durrr…

What are you tips for being absolutely bombastic with the ladies?

“Compliments- the way you get a lady is by always complimenting their bags and their shoes- you will never miss otherwise.”

I just caught my boyfriend on the bathroom floor with another person- what shall I do?

“Ermmm, watch!”

What vibe shall I go for with my Tinder profile photo?

“I would just have to put Shaggy up and that would be it- why the f**k would I need anything else? I always have a seductive look going on, even when I am not being seductive so that would be the vibe!”

I am five days into Glastonbury, I haven’t showered and I meet someone I want to sleep with- what should I do?

“Take a bottle of water and do the dab in the main areas…”

What’s the ultimate chat up line?

“Baby you are like a fresh made bed- I can’t wait to lay in it!”

How can I pie off the person I am seeing?

“I would always do it in person- that is the decent thing to do. But if she’s too much to handle in real life then a nice block on your phone always works!”

How can I nail the Shaggy look?

“Go to the third barrel in the Salvation Army- anything there works – when you have got swag anything you put on works!”

What’s the best piece of advice you have ever been given?

“Working with James Brown was real. He kicked my door down, came into my room and said, ‘sit down I want to talk to you, I see what you are doing and you are the truth. They want to take away your money, your woman, your car but they can’t take your talent. If you keep your talent you are a rich man. Keep doing your thing, you will be around for a long time.’”

Ladies and Gentleman we give you the iconic, Shaggy.


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